


I'm Gonna Thrill You Tonight

by XiuChen4Ever



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Erotic Electrostimulation, Face-Sitting, Felching, Kinktober, Kinktober 2018, Lich!Minseok, M/M, Necromancer!Chen, Necromancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 11:00:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16448633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XiuChen4Ever/pseuds/XiuChen4Ever
Summary: The trials and tribulations of being an apprentice necromancer are easier with a loyal lich by one's side.For Jongdae and Minseok, love truly is eternal.  And even if things aren't always perfect, at least they're always thrilling.(This is a quick, silly one-shot for Halloween, because Chen's intense faces and dramatic gestures on stage often make it look like he's performing some sort of occult ritual, and because Kim Minseok is way too perfect to actually be a mortal man.)





	I'm Gonna Thrill You Tonight

"Rise, my undead minions!" Jongdae commands, black eyes hard, electricity arcing from his fingertips into the trio of recently-slaughtered corpses lying on slabs in front of him.

Nothing happens.  Well, nothing except that the scent of ozone fills Jongdae's nostrils.

The naturally-upturned corners of his lips twist downward in displeasure as he surveys the bodies before him, brow furrowing as he double-checks his setup, making sure he hasn't overlooked any detail that would render the ritual ineffective.

He knows he's done everything perfectly, just as his mentor taught him.  But of course, because antagonizing the human is her favorite game, his mentor's familiar has decided to plunk her fluffy little ass down right on top of his carefully-crafted runes, thrust her back leg straight up into the air, and run a raspy tongue over her undercarriage.

"Tan," Jongdae scowls.  "Get your moth-eaten hide off of my arcane inscriptions."

Tan pauses mid-lick, tongue still protruding from between furry lips.  She blinks softly-glowing amber-green eyes slowly at him.

"I know an excellent taxidermist," Jongdae informs the cat.

Tan resumes licking. 

Muttering under his breath about how threatening to kill intelligent beings generally works better if they're actually  _alive_  to begin with, Jongdae scoops up the protesting feline to deposit her outside his workroom, firmly closing the heavy wooden door in her furry little face.

"Now then:  Rise, my undead minions!" Jongdae commands once again, posing with one arm extended in front of him and the other curved dramatically over his head so that the electrical power he discharges forks and arcs through the air on the way to his targets in a manner that makes him feel powerful and sinister.

"Ugh," one of the corpses says, a short but scary-looking male with close-cropped black hair.  

"Do we have to?" says another.  He'd been pretty before Jongdae broke his nose and stabbed him in the eye.

"This slab is actually pretty comfortable," remarks the third.  He's tall and goofy-looking, partly due to having only one oversized ear remaining on his head—Jongdae had found the other a convenient handle before he'd sliced it off.

Jongdae gapes at them, noble face contorted with offense.  "Of fucking  _course_  you have to—I am your master!  You will obey me!"

The corpses sit up reluctantly, arms extended straight out in front of them as is proper zombie form.  "Yes, Master," they intone in unison, then the first one rolls his eyes as the other two burst into giggles.

Jongdae frowns.  Zombies should be mindless and obedient.  They're not supposed to argue, and they're definitely not supposed to  _giggle_. 

Jongdae stalks to the door and flings it open, cursing as Tan slips back into his workroom and scurries behind the iron maiden.  "Hyuuung!" he calls, ignoring the infuriating cat for now.  "These zombies are defective!"

"That's because you didn't age your corpses at all, my impatient little mayfly."  His mentor's sweet, husky voice is gently amused.

"But Minseok-hyung, aging them takes too long," Jongdae whines, turning back to survey his imperfect handiwork.

"I know it seems like a bother, Dae, but if you don't let the bodies corpsify properly, there will often be undesireable traces of humanity remaining when the flesh is reanimated.  I've told you this."

Jongdae sighs, pouting a little as two out of three of his zombies continue to giggle between making B-movie groans at each other.  

He hears soft footfalls behind him, then strong arms encircle his torso and Minseok's pointed chin hooks itself over Jongdae's shoulder.  Jongdae twines his own callused fingers through Minseok's soft ones, not missing the way Minseok's thumb caresses the bold star sapphire ring on Jongdae's left index finger.  He smiles down at their clasped hands as Minseok lifts them to rest over Jongdae's beating heart, allowing the heat of the necromancer's body to seep into his frigid flesh.  Minseok is always cold—but that is, of course, because he's undead.

But he's not the gross, creepy, losing-body-parts-and-leaving-slime-everywhere kind of undead, not in the least.  He's the eternally-beautiful kind of undead, with smooth, timeless skin; rippling, iron-hard muscles; and wide, intelligent eyes that glow an ethereal cobalt blue.  He has no cravings to devour brains or blood or human flesh, but he does desire Jongdae's body for _other_  purposes.

Purposes that Jongdae is more than happy to fulfill, both because Minseok is fucking _hot_ even if he's always freezing, and because Jongdae's close association with such a powerful lich means some of the ancient undead's power "rubs off" on him (lewd pun completely intended because while Minseok has the sharp intellect and accumulated knowledge of centuries, he also has a truly deplorable sense of humor). 

It's quite something, to be adored by a lich.  Jongdae's not quite sure how he managed it, precisely, but he's thankful to whatever unholy deities saw fit to put a stumped and frustrated scientist in a bar that happened to carry the centuries-old whiskey favored by a being who'd become quite partial to it back in the seventeen hundreds.

Minseok had been wearing overpriced dude-bro luxury athlesiure wear along with aviator sunglasses indoors at night like the worst kind of Gangnam douchebag, but Jongdae had still allowed him to slide into the booth across from him and keep his glass full—intially with soju, but then just with water after the second bottle.  Jongdae could see enough of Minseok's broad cheekbones and full lips and compact, muscular figure to be very interested, yet he'd had this dangerous aura about him that made Jongdae very cautious.

But Minseok had been a perfect gentleman, using adorably anachronistic formal speech and unfamiliar turns of phrase to brazenly flirt with Jongdae without crowding into his space or becoming too crass.  But he'd also seemed genuinely interested in Jongdae, letting him vent about the frustrations of working for government laboratories that have stupid things like budgets and ethics committees and incompetent lab assistants yet demand miraculous and immediate results, making all the appropriate noises so Jongdae knew he was actively listening instead of just humoring him.  And, yeah, speaking of humor, Minseok had indeed failed to hide that particular flaw during the many hours they'd spent together that night, but Jongdae had found it endearing at that point.

To be honest, he still does, though he'd never tell the lich that.  It's much more fun to cringe and whine while Minseok laughs that full, rolling laugh that Jongdae adores.

It's not fair for a dead man to be so fucking  _cute_.

In stark contrast to the dead man behind Jongdae, the three dead men in front of him aren't cute at all, despite the incessant giggles coming from two of them.  He sighs again, because it's of course his own fault the ritual didn't go as expected, and neither option—ending them, thereby wasting the bodies he'd painstakingly killed and prepped, or leaving them as-is and dealing with obnoxiously-sentient undead servants—has much appeal.

"Well, fuck," he says, leaning back into Minseok's embrace.

"You won't rush things next time, and these three aren't completely useless.  The short one seems quite serviceable, at least."  Minseok's voice is soothing over his shoulder.

"Yeah, I'll definitely keep him.  The other two might end up being wormfood if they can't at least obey orders while they carry on like schoolboys."

"What's in it for us?" the half-blind one asks, lips parted in a way that makes him look like a puppy with a patch over one eye.

"Your continued existence," Jongdae snarls.

"Oh," the zombie answers.  "Do we want to continue to exist?" he asks his taller companion.

"I dunno.  Can I have my ear back?" he asks, tilting his asymmetrical head sideways at Jongdae.

Minseok snorts as Jongdae huffs, pressing cold lips to his cheek before releasing the necromancer to stomp over to one of the work tables and retrieve the zombie's severed ear from a pile of miscellaneous body parts.  One never knows when something will come in handy, and Jongdae hates throwing something out only to have to rob a grave for it later.

He tosses the ear at the zombie, but this particular flavor of undead isn't noted for their dexterity.  The creature attempts to catch his ear with a clumsy oversized hand, but misses entirely so that the ear thwaps him in the face.

"Thanks!" he gushes anyway, retrieving the ear from his lap and tucking it into his shirt pocket, patting it happily before looking back up at Jongdae.  "Now what?"

"Now you three are going to tidy up the library," he informs them.  Jongdae needs to be able to study the various necronomica and other occult texts that Minseok has accumulated, but it's too dusty in there for someone with working lungs.

In fact, the whole house is in need of a good scrubdown.  Minseok prefers things tidy and the rooms he frequents are meticulously clean (probably because the lich doesn't actually sleep and tends to fuck Jongdae into blissful slumber each night only to slip out of bed a few hours later to vacuum and compulsively organize both his and Jongdae's things) but the less-used rooms of the house could use some TLC.  Jongdae had hoped to please his mentor by creating some servants to take care of the mundane details of occupying a creepy old mansion on the outskirts of Seoul, but he's not sure he trusts these goons.

"On second thought, start with the dining room," he commands.  If they completely bollix that up, at least no irreplaceable texts will be damaged.  Jongdae can continue to wear a dustmask while extracting the books he needs from the library to read in a lounge chair on the balcony like a yuppie instead of hunching over the tomes by candlelight in a cobweb-strewn library like a  _proper_  necromancer.  

"Ooh, then will you wine and dine me like a proper boyfriend?" Minseok laughs.

"You don't dine," Jongdae reminds him.  "Which is why the dining room has been entirely neglected for decades."  He crosses the room to once again embrace his eternal lover.  "But if you want me to wine you, that can be arranged."  He smiles at Minseok before succumbing to the siren song of his softly-parted lips.

"Eeeeewwww," comes the protest from behind him, accompanied by exaggerated retching sounds.  "Vivophilia is  _so gross!_ "

Jongdae glares over his shoulder.  "Didn't I give you a job to do?"

"We don't know where the dining room is," the tall zombie points out.

"And since you're evidently a pervert, you probably want to dress us in French maid outfits first."

Jongdae closes his eyes and rests his forehead against Minseok's, unsure if he's soothed or offended by the gentle chuckle that accompanies his lover's tender hug.  

"Tannie, darling," Minseok coos.  "Please show our new friends the cleaning supply closet and the dining room, pretty kitty."

Trilling adorably, Tan gracefully emerges from her corner and flounces over to her master, who releases Jongdae to pretend to stroke the tabby's tufted ears.  With only an enhanced animal spirit inhabiting the lifeless body instead of the arcane-imbued human soul that animates her master, the cat's mortal flesh would have inevitably succumbed to the ravages of time, and the ears would have been among the first bits to go.

To save his tender heart from witnessing his beloved pet's body falling apart, Minseok had carefully embalmed and then lovingly mummified his precious Tan, wrapping her beautiful fluffy fur and soft velvety ears against her preserved flesh with strips of fine linen dyed a gentle blue.  Body forever intact but hidden from her master's gaze, the undead sorcerer had then wrapped his familiar in an illusion, allowing the vain animal to maintain her dignity.  She absolutely believes herself to still be fine and furry instead of shriveled and shrink-wrapped, as evidenced by her lengthy grooming sessions (usually in the most inconvenient place for Jongdae at any given moment), and her indulgent master absolutely plays along.

"Thank you, Daddy's gorgeous girl," Minseok sings, and the semi-sentient mummy trots purposefully out of the room, meowing for the zombies to follow along behind.

They do, two of them still giggling even as they shuffle off with arms outstretched, causing the mirthless one to roll his eyes and huff out a rattling sigh as he trails behind his fellows.

"You've worked hard today, Daddy's handsome human," Minseok sings to Jongdae in the same indulgent voice.

Jongdae narrows his eyes but he's not quite able to completely suppress his smile at Minseok's smirk.  "Fat lot of good it did me.  I should have listened to you and waited to raise proper servants."

"These may yet do alright," Minseok posits.  "They did obey, after all.  But even if they have to be scrapped, you've still gained valuable experience, and you did actually succeed in forcing the semblance of life back into mortified flesh."

"I did, didn't I?" Jongdae perks up.  "Maybe I should wine you in our bedroom to celebrate."  He tugs Minseok close with an arm around his sturdy waist.

"Or we could skip the wine and go straight to the celebration," the lich suggests, setting a hand on the back of Jongdae's neck to tug him into a sinful kiss.

"Wine is overrated," Jongdae murmurs against Minseok's smile, allowing himself to be drawn through the oversized house to the master suite the two of them share.

It's a beautiful set of rooms, done in shades of blue, gray, and white.  Minseok informed him that the colors represent death and transition and are very metaphorical and that the symbolic environment brings him peace and tranquility, but Jongdae is pretty sure that's all a bunch of bullshit and Minseok just really likes blue in all its various shades.

Jongdae's fine with blue, and he's definitely alright with the spacious rooms, fine furniture, and tasteful, minimalist decor.  It's certainly an upgrade from Jongdae's simple apartment in an inexpensive (read: crummy) part of town, and even though he's lived here for over a year, he's still thankful every morning he wakes up in Minseok's arms beneath a canopy of gauzy indigo silk instead of alone beneath a water-stained popcorn ceiling. 

And he usually does wake up wrapped in the lich who loves him, for even though the restless creature never stays in bed with Jongdae the whole night, he always lets the human cuddle him until he's fallen asleep, and he always slips back beneath the covers to wake Jongdae with playful kisses and teasing caresses.  Minseok never seems to tire of transforming Jongdae's annoyed whines to ardent whimpers, and the lich's undying libido means the necromancer is molested several times daily.

Not that he's complaining.  On the contrary, Jongdae is already moaning in anticipation as Minseok tosses him onto the bed before stripping himself of the basketball shorts and tank top that are his typical home attire.  Jongdae feasts his eyes on the pale skin stretched over rounded muscles, watching Minseok indulgently flex for his audience of one before coiling that lovely physique to pounce on his prey.

Jongdae's breath whooshes out of him along with a laugh as he's tackled, unresisting, and pinned against the snowy comforter.  Minseok's sturdy fingers circle Jongdae's wrists, and the lich gazes down at him with captivating cat-like eyes, espresso irises dilated wide to let lust and arcane illumination better shine through enlarged pupils.  Jongdae loves Minseok's eyes, fascinated by the cobalt glow that the lich had hidden behind oversized sunglasses the night they'd met.  

Jongdae had kept hoping he'd take them off, but he'd kept them on during all the flirting and talking, had even kept them on when the bar had closed and they'd headed off down the street toward the train station, when Jongdae had given in to temptation and tugged Minseok toward him and stolen a heated kiss.  Minseok had hummed against his lips and pressed against his hips, responding with skilled lips and eager tongue before pulling away with a considering look.

"Jongdae," Minseok had said, tilting his head to the side.  "What if I said that you could come home with me, and I'd give you a place to experiment and the resources to do it, that you could work on whatever you wanted without interference using techniques you've never even dreamed of before, that you'd have anything you wanted for the rest of your days as long as you were willing to work for it?"

Jongdae had tilted his own head right back.  "I'd say it sounds too good to be true.  And that your seduction techniques are unconventional."

Minseok had smiled.  "Oh, I haven't yet begun to seduce you.  But you seem clever and driven, the type that cares about results more than they're concerned with the methods used, and it's about time I had myself an apprentice.  Having a protegé that is also sinfully attractive would be a welcome bonus."

Jongdae had narrowed his eyes.  "Is this the part where you tell me you're a mob boss or something, and that if I don't agree, you'll kill me?"

Minseok had laughed.  "Not quite.  I won't kill you if you walk away now, but I will if you agree and then change your mind later.  I have too many secrets to allow loose ends."

Jongdae had stared at Minseok, at the play of the streetlight over his sultry lips, his broad cheekbones, the perfect angle of his jaw.  The alcohol had long ago been flushed from his system, and the dangerous aura was thick about this beautiful stranger.  He'd absolutely believed Minseok could kill him, but the life he was offering had so much appeal compared to the life he was living.  He hadn't really cared if Minseok was a hardened criminal who wanted a fucktoy, as long as the part about letting him research and experiment in peace was true.

"Let's go," he had said, and Minseok had smiled, taken off his sunglasses, and kissed Jongdae again.  

Jongdae had gazed into those unnaturally-glowing pupils and told him, "You have beautiful eyes."

After that, the creepy old mansion, mummified cat, and revelation of Minseok's own lack of vital signs were almost expected, though the lich had been incredibly offended when Jongdae had asked him if he were a vampire.

"I'm far more powerful than those blood-sucking dramatists," he'd scoffed.  "And I'll make you just as powerful if you prove to be a good student."

Jongdae had proved himself an excellent student, and an excellent lover.  It had been a little odd at first, to be intimate with someone whose flesh was chilly until warmed by the heat of Jongdae's own body, to be the only partner with a racing heart and a flushed face and sweat beading on his brow, to feel Minseok's cock pulse with ecstasy in his fist or mouth or ass without feeling the sticky evidence of his passion directly afterwards.

When he'd mentioned that he sort of missed his lover making a mess of him, Minseok had begun to use Jongdae's own spend to defile him, and somehow that was even hotter.

But the hottest thing of all is how Minseok looks at him, like he's something precious, beautiful,  _perfect_  even as the lich wrecks him, how he incorporates tender kisses between filthy ones, how his short sturdy fingers caress and punish, torment and satisfy.  Minseok doesn't say the words often, but he makes it so obvious that he loves Jongdae, even as he's leaving bruises on his body and fucking him so raw he can barely move.

It's that look of lust and adoration that's shining from the cobalt pupils of the lich above him now, and Minseok leans down for more deep, claiming kisses while he interlaces their fingers and shifts their clasped hands to either side of Jongdae's head.  He ruts against Jongdae, rubbing his bare cock against the necromancer's clothed erection even as he rubs his thumb once again over the cabochon star sapphire set in the thick gold ring on Jongdae's pointer.  

No, Minseok doesn't say those three little words often at all, but that habitual caress of the necromancer's ring is as good as an "I love you" as far as Jongdae is concerned.  As the song says, if you like it, put a ring on it.  But if you love it, adore it, trust it with your eternal existence, then you take the phylactery gem that shelters your very soul, set it into a ring, and put _that_ ring on it.  Jongdae wears his lover's immortality on his left hand, and Minseok loves reminding him of the fact.

"Hyung," Jongdae murmurs against Minseok's lips, making them curve into a smile at their little joke.  Technically, Minseok's body is twenty-five years old as compared to Jongdae's twenty-seven.  But Minseok has been twenty-five for centuries now, and Jongdae enjoys teasing his lover about his advanced age.

"Dae," Minseok murmurs back.  "Gonna ride you.  Wanna feel your lightning inside of me."

Jongdae can only moan at this pronouncement, but he frees his right hand to perform the arcane gesture that will unleash one of the first spells the necromancer ever learned:  the one that makes clothes disappear.

Okay, technically, the clothes don't disappear so much as magically relocate to an arm-length away, but it serves the purpose and Minseok laughs every time Jongdae uses it on either of them. 

"You know, most people start with something offensive or defensive, something they can rely on when they're threatened," the lich had chided with a smile when Jongdae had first shown Minseok his new trick.

"Priorities," Jongdae had answered.  "Besides, if some asshole tries to mug me and suddenly finds himself naked, I'm pretty sure I'll be able to walk away just as easily as if I'd zapped the shit out of him or something."

He had of course eventually learned to zap the shit out of things just for good measure, but the Shift Clothing cantrip remains his most-used spell.

Jongdae wraps his lover's laughter in a moan as Minseok's cool skin rests directly against his own heated body, rolling his hips up with enthusiasm.  Minseok slides up Jongdae's body a bit before frogging his legs to either side of the necromancer's torso, making it easy for Jongdae to fill his palms with his lover's toned little ass.

"I love your tiny little butt," Jongdae grins, squeezing a cheek in each hand.

"I love your tiny little body," Minseok answers, sitting up so he can wrap his cool hands around Jongdae's narrow waist.  

Jongdae growls, indignant, but it's true the necromancer isn't the biggest guy on the block.  He is a centimeter or two taller than the lich, though, and his lithe frame is layered with lean muscle where it counts, his thighs, arms, and shoulders showing the results of hauling corpses around for over a year.  He uses those results to haul Minseok back down against his chest and devour his lips, probing his tongue inside his lover's mouth without really noticing the once-disconcerting fact that it's unnaturally dry.

So, of course, is the other end of Minseok's unused digestive tract, so Jongdae fumbles for the lube on the nightstand, slicking two fingers before sliding them into his lover's waiting hole.  But Minseok's body is also incredibly resilient, so Jongdae isn't prepping his lover so much as teasing him, giving him fingers when he'd rather have something else.

"Come on, Dae—give me your lightning rod already."

"Oh yeah?  Ready to ride the lightning, Hyung?"  

In answer, Minseok sits back up, smears Jongdae's lubed fingers over the necromancer's cock, then pins both his hands to the bed again, rubbing against the sapphire ring as he impales himself on Jongdae's length.

"So fucking  _hot_ , Dae," Minseok moans.

Jongdae knows his lover isn't referring to his appearance, though Minseok has made it very clear that he likes what he sees when he looks at his human companion.  No, right now the lich is enjoying that human companion's arousal-elevated skin temperature on a certain blood-filled organ, while for Jongdae it's like sticking his dick into cool gelatin.  Minseok isn't cold inside, per se, he's just _not warm_ , at least not until Jongdae starts casting the very first manifestation of arcane energy he ever managed to produce: a spray of tingling sparks from his fingertips.

He'd been annoyed at first, because most sorcerers' initial efforts produce a light or a flame, something  _useful._   But Jongdae evidently has an affinity for electricity, and while his first spell might have been disappointingly weak, Minseok had assured him that he was truly fortunate to be naturally attuned to this element over the more common ones.

"You can make light or heat with electricity, you can start a fire with a spark if you really want a flame.  But infusing a corpse with light or fire isn't nearly as useful as providing it with the electrical impulses needed to re-animate stilled muscles.  Plus electrocuting shit is fun."

Jongdae had immediately seen the pros of his situation, and that was  _before_  he'd learned that he could launch those tingling sparks from appendages other than his fingers.

Minseok wants to ride the lightning, so that's what Jongdae gives him, holding his hips as he shoots sparks from his dick into his lover's body.  The lich yells and arcs his spine, rolling his pelvis as he enjoys the sensation.  He bounces on Jongdae's electrified cock for a bit before flexing his thighs to lift himself so only the last six centimeters or so of Jongdae's dick remain in his body, tilting his hips until the tingling tip nudges that hypersensitive gland hidden inside a guy.

"Dae," Minseok rasps as Jongdae pulses sparks into him rhythmically.  "Oh, Dae!"

"Hyung," Jongdae moans, because Minseok contracts around him with each pulse, threatening to milk him dry well before he's ready.

But while Minseok's stamina is inhuman, Jongdae's isn't far behind after a year of being the lich's toy, so he holds his own pleasure back while delivering all he can to his lover.  Minseok alternates riding Jongdae hard with suspending himself so Jongdae hits where he's most sensitive, and Jongdae gasps and moans as his body is used.

"Fuck, Dae," Minseok pants, leaning heavily on strong arms braced against Jongdae's shoulders.  "Give me more—light me up!"

And Jongdae does, upping the voltage and making Minseok's spasming muscles clamp down hard around him, gritting his teeth and squeezing his eyes shut against the growing need to come.  His own abs are tensed and his thighs are flexed to press his dick up into his lover even as Minseok lifts himself on powerful thighs to keep the head of Jongdae's cock exactly where he wants it.

Jongdae's not sure how he manages to survive the long moments of agonizing pleasure before Minseok groans long and low, cock straining as he shoots his non-existent load from empty testicles.  He slams his ass back down on Jongdae's hips, burying the necromancer's cock to the root.

"Fill me, Dae," Minseok commands, and Jongdae obliges with a wail.

"Fuck, you're  _perfect_ ," Minseok praises, bending forward to brush sweaty bangs away from Jongdae's forehead and place contented kisses on still-panting lips.  "I can't wait until you're powerful enough to ascend so I can return the favor without damaging your delicate human insides."

"I'm studying hard, Hyung," Jongdae promises.  "Gonna make it before I'm thirty so I'm not a cradle-robber."  He can't fucking wait to seal his soul in a gem so Minseok can have Jongdae wrapped literally around his little finger as well as metaphorically.  

Minseok laughs.  "I'm pretty sure a cradle isn't what you're robbing if you've got your dick in a lich."  He kisses Jongdae again, then shifts forward to dislodge the necromancer's softening cock.

"You were never in a grave, Hyung.  You're way too handsome to bury."

"And yet you love it when I'm buried in your ass," Minseok smirks, straightening up and shuffling forward on his knees until he's straddling Jongdae's head.  "Speaking of asses..."

With a happy hum, Jongdae reaches up to spread Minseok's cheeks as the lich lowers himself over Jongdae's mouth, shoving his greedy tongue straight into Minseok's freshly-filled hole.  Both of them moan as Jongdae licks and slurps his spend out of his lover's ass, thrilled that the hygiene-conscious lich lets him do this even if he flatly refuses to reciprocate.  It doesn't matter to Minseok that he's not subject to infection or cross-contamination, nor does he care how many dark green leafy vegetables Jongdae eats or how well he cleans himself in the shower—a human asshole will never be sanitary enough for Minseok to put his mouth on.

"Hyung," Jongdae gasps when Minseok lifts off the human's face to let him grab a breath.  "Gonna do this for me once I've ascended?"

"Eugh," Minseok grunts, lowering himself to once again limit the human's flow of air.  "Maybe after you haven't used your ass for anything but sex for like a year and I've filled it to the brim with peroxide."

Jongdae chuckles against Minseok's pucker, content to enjoy his remaining mortality since rimming his lover is that much more filthy and satisfying when he's pumped him full of come first.

"Maybe I can make a spell for that," he muses when Minseok lets him breathe again.

"What, to sanitize your asshole?"

Jongdae laughs.  "Well, I can work on that, too.  But I meant one to let us fill each other's various holes even once I've stopped producing bodily fluids."

"Oh, fucking hell," Minseok groans, settling heavily on Jongdae's face in punishment.  "How could I show my face at the Slayers Ball?  That insufferable draco-lich would be there bragging about his stupid wushu apprentice, going on and on about how the punk can literally  _stop time_ , and then he'd ask what  _my_  apprentice has been up to, and I'd have to say, 'Oh, well, he's perfected his Produce Jizz spell, so the zombie servants have a lot more laundry to do these days.'"

Jongdae is chortling so hard he'd be finding it difficult to breathe even without a lich smothering him with his testicles.  Minseok flops over onto the bed beside the hysterical human, gazing at him with a look of fond disgust.

"I'll work really hard, Hyung," Jongdae promises again.  "So when he's staring at you trying to decide if you're serious, you'll be able to follow up with, 'Oh yeah—and he's creating zombies so agile and coordinated and obedient, he's trained half a dozen to dance cover Super Junior's _Sorry Sorry_.'"

Minseok laughs.  "That would be impressive, especially if they had enough bodily integrity not to lose bits as they did so.  I wonder if you could coach a zombie to sing?"

As if on cue, a loud (but surprisingly in tune) voice belts out The Ray's _Farewell Review_.

"Could I pause and look back at the memories?" it sings, then suddenly breaks the melody to rant, "Not very well, because I've only got  _one eye!_ "

Jongdae sighs, then sits up and reaches for his underwear.  "I'd better start with training this defective lot—and maybe working on my Repair Undead spell, if it'll get them to quit griping about their missing bits."

"Next time you might consider just electrocuting your raw materials instead of all that slicing and stabbing," Minseok suggests as Jongdae dresses.

"I  _did_ electrocute the first one," Jongdae defends.  "But the two clowns showed up when I was hauling the body away and the smaller one pulled a knife on me 'for justice' or some shit.  I was drained from trying to off the first one without leaving burns or anything, so I just killed the jokers the old-fashioned way."

Minseok huffs in amusement.  "Well, I'm still proud of you for animating them in the first place after studying for only a year."  He smirks, gazing at his apprentice from the corners of his eyes.  "And I'll be proud of you for any spell you develop, even if it's meant for the bedroom."

Jongdae grins at his mentor even as a bit of heat rises to his cheeks.  "Priorities," he says again.  "Taking over the world is all well and good, but eternity would get a bit boring without screaming-hot sex."

Minseok runs a hand down his nude body.  "I'll always keep you screaming, Dae."

Jongdae blatantly ogles the goods on display, drawing his lower lip through his teeth and winking at his lover as he opens the bedroom door in preparation for dealing with his unruly creations. 

"Oh, I know you're always gonna thrill me, Hyung."


End file.
